Tag: #Jesus

uBu4Him

Scared Motionless

CandaceErin

Time is filled with SWIFT transitions.

*whew*

I told ya’ll that 2017 was fittin’ to be LIT, but I certainly didn’t expect some of this ish.
I’m currently writing to you all from my couch. I am not off. I am currently jobless. I was at my company for 14 years, and in 6 months, it all came to an end. It wasn’t all bitter, but it was still an end. I haven’t gotten another job yet (at least not a steady one). While all of this was going on, I was eerily calm. I wasn’t nervous about not having a job.

I also knew that this year, God was really going to be opening doors for ubu4him. Not because this year is special, but because I had planned to be different this year. I had planned to not squander opportunities and to hustle a little harder. Because I’d planned to invest in MYSELF; in my own God-breathed vision instead of working hard for another’s.

WELL, the beginning of the year started off great (as it often does for me). I was writing, I was hustling, I was networking. Things were moving right along.
THEN, it hit.
That feeling. That tired, worn out, I don’t feel like doing anything feeling. I didn’t want to write. I didn’t want to network. I didn’t want to revamp any more of my website. I didn’t want to create any more databases. I didn’t want to listen to any more business podcasts. I didn’t want to set up my LLC. I just got OVERWHELMED with the sheer enormity of it all.

I envy people who have this 2nd, 3rd or 4th drive that kicks in when life gets this way. Some people (at least from my view) are able to burrow through how they’re feeling and just PUSH to get things done. I tend to retreat & escape. Whatever I’m doing comes to a full stop and then I find something to take my mind away from all that I’m doing.

I said to myself “I’m taking the month off.”
Then one month turned into two into three…and here we are…August 2017 and I feel like I’m hitting the restart button…AGAIN.

Some days I am just sick of myself. WHY AM I THIS WAY?! WHY CAN’T I JUST KEEP IT TOGETHER?!

And let’s not mince words. I’ve been unemployed since June. THIS would be the time to go FULL hustle into my dreams. Why not? I have the time! Can’t use that as an excuse anymore.

But I didn’t & I haven’t. So in only the way that the Lord Jesus can… He sent folks into my life to get me together.

I have a group of girlfriends that I’ve had since college. The Holy Spirit loves nothing more (it seems) than to tell on us to each other. We’ve been dreaming/rebuking/praying/speaking to each other since we were in our early 20’s.

So maybe 2 months ago, my friend hit me up RANDOMLY with the following text

“Are you considering giving up on something? I had a dream last night. You were telling me you were getting an abortion.” (The fact that she knew not to take that dream literally should tell you the level of discernment).
ME: COME ON MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The fact that I knew EXACTLY what the deal was should tell you how the Holy Ghost was already in my ear!) Yeah, I guess that’s an accurate description. Anytime the Lord has spoken to me specifically about my purpose it’s been in the form of “birthing.” So yeah, not currently on ubu4him like I should be…the writing, the prophetic…I just stalled.”

She goes on to tell me that I wanted to have this abortion at the “Y”. She said to me that I wasn’t thinking this all the way through and that I just didn’t want to be pregnant and she asked me why.

I told her that I felt like maybe my pregnancy just wasn’t that serious. That maybe I had been indoctrinated with all this super hype Christian stuff, but maybe, ultimately, it just wasn’t that deep. She told me that it was indeed very serious and I really needed to think it through. She told me it was my decision, but that it would follow me the rest of my life. It would never go away. It would affect everyone I had a relationship with. You will always have it in the back of your mind, you’ll always grieve it and you will always think about what if you hadn’t.

My final text to her on the subject was “The Holy Spirit does too much.”

Isn’t the Holy Spirit ignorant to me? You see how he doesn’t care about my feelings?!

I just didn’t want to be pregnant anymore.
Truer words were never spoken.

God has ALWAYS connected my purpose with me being pregnant. And here I am about to abort this baby. Maybe a decade ago, another friend of mine (same group) had a dream about my baby being stillborn.  BUT THIS? This time it’s on me. This was me making a conscious choice to kill what was growing on the inside of me.

Pregnancy is inconvenient. It can be painful. Your body is expanding and if this is your first baby, you have no idea what to expect. It’s so scary. And it’s not that you don’t want the baby. You want the joy of the baby but can you endure the uncertainty of pregnancy?

*sigh*

I am an expert at getting in my own way. And why? I am SO SCARED that I’m going to found out to be fraudulent; that what I’m carrying isn’t that great. That I’m not that great.

It doesn’t matter how many people tell me how awesome I am, how awesome my ministry is and will be, how many dreams, visions & prophetic words come down the pike, I HAVE TO BELIEVE IT FOR MYSELF in order to bring this baby to full-term.

In the Holy Spirit’s final effort to get me writing (and doing all the other stuff I need to be doing) another friend hit me up to ask me if I was writing. I told her no. I was honest with her about how scared I was about not being able to hack it in this Entrepreneurial life. How I was being told from various sources that I wasn’t going back into a 9-5 life and the thought terrified me. I was worried about my lack of discipline & stick-to-itiveness. You know you need those when you run your own business.

She mentioned something called Imposter Syndrome. It’s where you have all the talent, all the ability, all the knowledge, all the skill, but you don’t THINK you do, so you don’t think you deserve the promotion, the opportunity, the chance that you’ve worked for, or are aiming for.

My Life.

At the core, I don’t believe I deserve success. I don’t believe I could keep up with being successful on my own. I don’t believe I have the skills necessary for success; I don’t have the knowledge. I just took a freelance position as a social media marketing manager. I almost didn’t take it because I didn’t BELIEVE I could do it. MIND YOU, I did it for my last job and trained someone else in it too! WHY do I always talk myself out of opportunity?

Everyone sees my gifts, all I see are my flaws. Does anyone else out there feel like that? Am I alone?

I don’t have any answers at this time. My current remedy is a 4 step process. . .
1) Do things that scare me
2) Redeem my time
3) Believe more of what GOD says about me (He’s the more credible source on me)
4) Take on more opportunities that scare me.

I have no idea on how to attack this issue any other way than to #DoItAfraid

So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10 NIV

Soundtrack for this blog is brought to you by Hello Fear-Kirk Franklin

uBu4Him, Uncategorized

#FORMATION

CandaceErin

Yep. I did it. I took something that is pop-culturally relevant and I’m about to use it for my own purposes to illustrate a biblical truth. Yes, the mere fact of Beyonce’s picture being up there will probably drive more traffic to my site. I don’t feel no ways about it either. You don’t like it… #BYE

Now for the rest of you. Hello!
I promise I was watching the Superbowl like the rest of you…mouths agape as I saw this ICON (feel anyway you want to about Bey, she is an ICON of this generation) take the field with all those subtle and not AT ALL subtle illustrations of Black, Woman empowerment! I then also saw the onslaught of foolishness from EVERYBODY (Hive-included-YES I SAID IT!) and I was over it before I could even begin. UGH with the Formation already! GEEZ, ya’ll mad or naw?!

So, it surprised ME more than anything that when I was about to tweet a thought about the #BOC (Body of Christ for the unenlightened); as I was typing out the thought, before I could catch myself, my hands flew across the keyboard, “We need to get in #Formation.”

I’m sorry, Qhwhat you say there Jesus? Come again?

I deleted it IMMEDIATELY because…

Nope.

I HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEE when the #BOC turn EVERYTHING culturally relevant into a SERMON, A POST, A SONG… And I’ve said so too…so you know my next thought… #FearofJudgementfromthePentecostalPeanutGallery

Ya’ll won’t be looking at ME like… Well like Beyonce’ in the below pic.
FormationBeyonceNOPE.
But then, I hear the Holy Spirit so clearly and all that joker does is float a picture of my last blog post across my mind. #FearBeLyingYall

Word?  You Right.

Okay so here I go.

Soooooooooooo let me start with this good question…
What does Formation even mean? Not in the Beyonce context. Let’s try the Webster context. (Remember him? Some ya’ll of ya’ll need to meet him for yourself. But I digress!)

Formation:

  1. 1.
    the action of forming or process of being formed.
    “the formation of the Great Rift Valley”
    synonyms: emergence, coming into being, genesis, development, evolution,shaping, origination More
  2. 2.
    a structure or arrangement of something.
    “a cloud formation”
    synonyms: configuration, arrangement, pattern, array, alignment, positioning,disposition, order

    “the aircraft were flying in tight formation”

    Let’s tackle the second one. The structure or arrangement of something. Synonyms are “arrangement, positioning, alignment, order.”

    If I could preach a sermon about the #BOC, main issues would be
    “We can’t get in position, buck against arrangements of any kind, don’t want to be in alignment and SO OUT OF ORDER!”
    Why would you say that is?
    I would say it’s because we can’t conquer Definition #1 #Formation
    Since I won’t define a word with its own word, Let’s say it like this:
    “The act or process of being developed or shaped.”
    You’re about to be mad. It’s okay. You’re in good company on this blog.

    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY do we so STRENUOUSLY avoid being developed?! WHY do we run for the hills every time God is trying to process us?!
    We go to church each week, some of us twice or thrice and we don’t leave changed.
    We don’t.
    We sing our songs, we lead our solos, we serve diligently, we preach, we teach, but we are the same.
    The same fearful, jealous, petty, passive-aggressive, non-confrontational, depressed, weary, joy-less, mean-spirited, bitter, self & others loathing, oppressed people we were when we came in the doors! First of all, in my humble opinion, it’s because we refuse to confront our emotional issues. I’m currently reading a FANTASTIC book
    Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
    He speaks to not being able to deal with emotional scars and our oft-ignored feelings; shoving them aside and essentially pouring “Christianity” over them.
    But what I would also speak to is that we not only won’t confront our own selves, we rebuff anyone else who God might be sending our way to help get us together.

    Everyone isn’t hating on you.
    Let me say this in all truth. I have been the type of person who wasn’t open enough to hear if God was using someone to illustrate a particular truth in my life. Not because I thought I was so fabulous; more so because I was scared that I had been found out. I was so busy being scared to let people know how jacked I really was that whenever anyone would point out a particular flaw, I would either deflect, deny or get defensive. But where did ANY of that ever get me? I’ll tell you where.

    Isolated.
    Exhausted. (Wearing that mask all the time is tiring)
    Playing the Blame Game (It’s YOU, it’s not ME)
    Constantly having to talk about other people so no one ever shined the light this way.
    Afraid of being found out.
    Which brings me back to Isolation.

    There is NOTHING the devil loves more than to get us isolated.
    We actually ARE made for community.
    That whole scripture about “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together…” – Hebrews 10:25

    Yeah, He meant that thing. But not so He could brow beat you into going into a building, but because He knows there is strength there.
    Do you think God needs anyone? (Yes we could go theologically deep on that question, but let’s just keep it simple, shall we?)
    He doesn’t. But He chose to reveal himself in 3 distinct forms. “Let US make man in OUR image.” -Genesis 1:26
    He chooses to use US to do His work & will in the Earth. Despite how nuts we are.
    So when you refuse to allow yourself one of the divine privileges of community, how do you think that makes God feel?
    Ask yourself, When is the last time you were able to sit and let someone speak into your life in truth and honesty and you didn’t have to go
    “But you-“
    I’m not talking a “Prophetic Utterance” in the way we’re conditioned to think of it.
    When is the last time you let a friend/your husband/your wife/bay/co-worker (that you may not even like) say something to you that ya’ll BOTH knew you didn’t want to hear?
    Are you the type of person that is open to criticism of your person? Not your work…Not your project…Not even who you’re dating. YOUR PERSON! (Cause truth be told, if we let God deal with the untouched aspects of our person, we’d probably get delivered in the area of the fools we keep allowing into our spaces #JustSaying)

    Can you declare #OpenSeason for the Purpose of #LifeGettingSeason ?

    Can someone tell you, “You’re wrong.” Can someone say “That comment was unnecessary” Can someone call out jealousy, pride, a critical spirit, prejudice or even un-biblical behavior in you?

    I say this.
    There is NO WAY the Body of Christ can get in #FORMATION if we can’t even get our own selves in #Formation
    If you’re Dancer #3, HOW are we going to ROCK OUT at the Super Bowl if your right arm keeps going LIMP when we need it OUTSTRETCHED & FISTED towards the SKY?!

    But you want to get mad when the Choreographer sends one of the other dancers over to help you get arm up? #GetYourLife

We have to be willing to let God do the work in us. Yes, it does take a level of maturity. It takes tackling fear head on. It takes safe spaces and sometimes NOT safe spaces.

And for those of you reading this thinking “YES! Here’s my opportunity to let loose on so-and-so.” No boo boo. Not at all. Please don’t do that.

When a surgeon goes into cut, he or she goes in carefully, skillfully and for the purpose of cutting the bad before it infects the good. He or she doesn’t go in HACKING away hoping to hit something for the sheer enjoyment of it. The enjoyment should come in the bettering of the patient; not the glee of getting to cut.

COME ON JESUS! I think God just delivered ME in that last paragraph! YAAAAAAAAAAS!

And for those who have something to say to someone…

Walk in authority & love. The two are NOT mutually exclusive.
I say that to myself more than anyone else. I have almost ruined friendships by being afraid to be honest. But you can also ruin a friendship by being too afraid (or too prideful) to be confronted too.

So if you’re not a member of the “Bey-hive” the word is still the same to you.
It’s STILL time to get in #Formation
We can’t do that moving every time God is ready to “cut”
We can’t do that being scared to be authentic.
We can’t do that being jealous of sister-girl cause she got to be in the front behind Bey (or lead the dance ministry or called to preach or had the baby first or got the contract you wanted or whatever your issue is)
We can’t do that criticizing who’s next to us in #Formation cause they mis-stepped during the performance.
We can’t do that constantly battling those who are themselves embattled.

Get in #FORMATION

2 Timothy 4:1-5

Soundtrack for this blog is brought to you by I Am God by Kirk Franklin feat. Toby Mac

 

uBu4Him

Fear Be LYING ya’ll.

CandaceErin

FearIsaLiar
So it’s been awhile since I’ve been on my own blog. Not written on it. It’s been
MONTHS since I even LOOKED at the thing. SMH I’m a hot mess. Ya’ll keep me in prayer, hear? Now I could give a cockamamie excuse as to why or I could give you a completely plausible one (ie: I got married last year, YAY ME!) but they would both be complete lies. I’ll just tell you the deal. I got scared & I was lazy.
I’m a GREAT starter, but I tend to really struggle with finishing stuff. Not only that, there was a great deal going on in the world for 2015; the #BlackLivesMatter movement being one. And while I have opined on my personal Facebook, I didn’t feel the Holy Spirit was pressing me to talk about that on this blog. And honestly, I felt weird about that. How am I supposed to talk about something so COMPLETELY off topic of what is going on in my immediate sphere? And really if I’m honest I was more concerned about people judging me for that. I was scared.

And then, writing takes time! No really, it’s time consuming; especially the way I do it. I agonize over every detail. I worry over every sentence. I’m trying to work on that. Even before I started writing this, I spent hours re-designing my blog. HOURS. I wasn’t even supposed to re-design my blog. I was just supposed to write. But, you know, the devil is busy. No really, because I could have sat here and kept re-designing because that would have kept me from doing what I came here to do; which is to write!

Writing scares me. A friend of mine said to me one time (paraphrased) that the reason I re-write or don’t write is that I’m scared that people will misinterpret or misunderstand what I say. #TrueStatement I don’t even like to share how I feel about things OUT LOUD because I’m always worried someone will disagree with me & pick me apart and tell me how STUPID I am to believe…WHATEVER it is I believe. And a lot of times what I believe is counter to the culture. Not just world-culture, but sometimes church-culture too. And it’s hard these days to STAND in not just MY truth, but in God’s truth.

So when I name my site uBu4Him, you have no idea how God is making that truth real in my own life. I started a website & a blog around this idea but I wouldn’t let it truly penetrate because of FEAR.

Can I tell you how much fear gets on my d*mn nerves?! No really. It’s SOOOOO annoying! Like, it’s the most debilitating, thee most hindering, the most possessive of enemies. I cannot tell you how long I have been fighting with fear. Well, let’s be honest. I haven’t always fought it. Most times, I just let it hold on to me and stop me. When Fear & Laziness get together, it’s HORRIBLE! Can you imagine having to battle those two simultaneously? And let me tell you how those two love to feed each other. Fear stops me from finishing and allows me to be lazy, then laziness steeps and allows me to be even scared to start again.

Fear be LYING yall.

Fear tells me I can’t post on this blog, cause it isn’t designed perfectly. Wait until it’s perfect.
Fear tells me this blog isn’t deep enough so I should stop writing.
Fear tells me my voice isn’t necessary in the blogosphere because really…who wants to listen to ME? What do I have to say that hasn’t been said?
Fear tells me to STOP.
Fear tells me it’s not good enough.
Fear tells me I’M not good enough.
Fear tells me I shouldn’t say that. Don’t say it like that. Don’t say it at all. Just don’t.

FEAR BE LYING YA’LL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here I am, AGAIN. I’m making a commitment to writing this blog. AGAIN. I’m making a committment to being myself on this blog. AGAIN. I’m committed to letting Christ speak through me without worrying myself that you won’t be okay with it.

I just don’t want to drag fear into this year; and I sure don’t want it dragging me. And what I’ve realized as I’m finishing this post…Is that I started this blog with great intentions; but they were misdirected. I started this blog to “help” somebody. Here’s what I know. This blog is here to help ME. It’s here to help me cultivate writing on a regular basis. It’s here to help me hear God speak to ME even as I’m writing. It’s hear to help ME become more of MYSELF in Christ. It’s here to FREE me from FEAR & LAZINESS.

I have made a commitment for 2016 to write on this blog AT LEAST once a month. I’m up at 1AM because I am DETERMINED that on February 1, there will be a blog post. No, my blog isn’t perfected. There are a lot of things that will change. But I’m just going to DO IT AFRAID.

Unperfected. A little late. But it’s done.

 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3 ESV

Soundtrack for this blog is brought to you by India Arie-Strength, Courage & Wisdom.

uBu4Him

#YouShallNotBePleased

CandaceErin

IMG_0426.JPGNo matter WHAT I do….No matter if I say all the right things, at all the right times with all the right facial expressions and accompanying hand motions…

#YouShallNotBePleased

#NoMatter if I think it through and make every decision with you in mind
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I pray long and heap grace upon grace
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I hear from The Lord and speak what He says
#YouShallNotPleased
#NoMatter if I silence His voice to protect how you feel
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I play down my greatness so you’re mediocrity can be comfortable
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I walk in humility the way God intended
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I scrub off black-ness so you can continue to bathe in ignorance
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I paint on black-ness so I fit well on your color-wheel
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I beat back my Woman to be more of a “lady”
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I “man-up” and shut down my emotions
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I wear what you want and act how you like
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I become less me and more like you
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I stay more me and become More Me
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I dead my “tiger” to appease your “housecat”
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if my opinions stay to myself
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I speak loud and clear
#YouShallNotBePleased

#NoMatter if I’m perfect everyday
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I err greatly
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I act more like the person you favor and less like me
#YouShallNotBePleased
#NoMatter if I become more how God intended me to be
#YouShallNotBePleased

And so I cease. I cease trying to please you because
#YouShallNotBePleased

And regardless of the effort I put in to making your world more comfortable for YOU to live in, I am simultaneously destroying any hope of expanding my own.

It is exhausting constantly trying to live up to the expectations of those who #ShallNotBePleased

For we find that #nomatter WHAT we do, HOW we do it, For HOW LONG we do it, WHERE we do it, WHO we do it with or WHEN we do it

We cannot do it for you.
We must do it for ourselves.

At the end of the day….
#WeMUSTbePleased

We…. the past, present and future me.
#WeMustBePleased

We….The Father, Son and Holy Spirit who take up residence within me
#WEMUSTBEPLEASED

So I seek to #please those who can be pleased

“This is my daughter with whom I am WELL PLEASED….”

#HeShallBePleased

Galatians 1:10 “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or an I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

IMG_0426.JPG

uBu4Him

uBu4Him

CandaceErin

WHAT in the world does that creative little phrase mean anyway?
I thought it was pretty hott when God gave it to me years ago.
I thought it was a theme for a youth conference (Who knows? It may become one yet!) that never actually happened.
BUT, it kept resonating with me as it sat on my desk…staring back at me for years…
Then one day, GAWD SPOKE! (don’t you just love when preachers get all “preachery?” LOL)

No but really…I kept struggling with this whole idea of who I was…
Fitting into boxes.
Not fitting into boxes. Are boxes okay?
Boxes are NOT okay!
But, can I be ME in a box?
But don’t I need to fit somewhere?
Jesus was out the box!
And yet….in a box.
I have no idea. I am over it. Who cares?!

For 2-3 years (or 32 years depending how you look at it-LOL), I essentially wrestled with who I was, who I presented to the world, and who God said I was.

I was confused and truly in despair. It is a difficult thing to try to work for God and not know who you are IN God.
Since I was a child, I tried to be who others wanted me to be. That was exhausting! I grew up in the church essentially believing that being polite was being a Christian. You shouldn’t disagree (at least, not too much). You certainly shouldn’t upset the apple cart in any situation.  If you are frustrated with something or someone, you push that aside and try to act okay. If you are angry, that is certainly not to be displayed. Be quiet. Don’t show anyone how you truly feel.

I never wanted to present anything negative to the world around me. Even to those I counted as true friends, I didn’t want them to see my faults. I was convinced that if anyone saw the ugly, negative, selfish, angry, insecure, mean-spirited, flippant side of me, they would NEVER want to be my friend (I mean, really, who befriends people like that?!). So I presented the “watered-down” version of Candace. The version that was bland enough not to upset your stomach. It didn’t really have a taste to it. It wasn’t a meal you’d remember but it wasn’t something that’d send you to the bathroom either.

I spent almost my whole life trying to be “in the middle.” Not high enough for anyone to think of me as a target, but not low enough to be forgotten.
And trust me…I worked hard at being in the middle. Throughout middle school, high school and college….I WORKED HARD at trying to be in the middle.

BUT….something really annoying kept happening.
I kept finding myself in front.
I don’t say this in a spirit of pride, I say this because as much as I tried to be a follower, I kept alternatively trying to be the leader.

I had no problem taking the position of “leader” in theory but I had a hard time transitioning to that in a concrete way. In that way, I was still following, afraid to be my true self. Afraid of what that would make me look like. Afraid that people wouldn’t like me. Afraid I wouldn’t be accepted.

For the last few years, I’ve laid stagnant in so many areas of my life and today it breaks my heart. You know why?
Because I know it breaks Daddy’s heart (that’d be God) to think of all the time I wasted being less than who He uniquely created me to be.
I use to think I was trying to stay humble acting like I was less….. #thedevil

UH NO!

It’s not pride to walk in confidence in ALL that God has designed you to be.

Here’s an excerpt from something I wrote earlier in the year.

I just got a Keurig for Christmas, and I love it. But what if I simply used it to heat up water and still made my coffee the regular way? Granted, it’s just coffee. BUT, the  Keurig is made for SO much more. It’s pretty sitting on my counter, but how tragic to have something so complex, so wonderful and not utilize it for ALL it can offer me?

Sometimes I find myself doing that. I sit pretty, but I only let God use me “a little bit”. He didn’t create me to just “heat up water”. He created me to make coffee, and 2-part brew lattes, ice coffees, to brew loose teas, hot chocolates….(go with my analogy people!) He created me to make 6oz espresso’s and 14 oz travel sized ice tea!

I don’t want to be under-utilized…That would be the tragedy of my life…to be underused by God! I don’t want him to just say “Well done” I want him to say “You’re SPENT! You gave it ALL to me!”

That’s what this BLOG is intended to be all about. Every person I encounter, I only desire that UBU4Him. It’s all I desire for myself. I want every gift, every talent, every purpose to be used in service to Him. I don’t want to ever again be consumed with what people think over pleasing God.

Anything I tackle on this blog, any subject matter is all to help & ensure that UBU4Him. It may not be agreeable to you, it may not even be for you right now. You might not agree. But I am not worried about if “the food is bland” anymore. As long as it does the job of nourishing and maybe even cleaning you out….I’m good with that. 🙂

I think one of the greatest tragedies of Christian-dom is everyone running around trying to be a carbon-copy of someone else in the Kingdom. Do you realize that if you’re trying to be someone else, you’re missing out on all the opportunities that God created ONLY FOR YOU?! Only you can do what you can do, how you do it!

We have so many people in the kingdom trying to be functions of the head…. You want to hear, see and speak. We have really forgotten that without the feet, we’re not moving anywhere. Without the arms, we can’t reach out. Without the hands, we can’t take hold. Don’t even get me started on the internal organs that no one sees- but without which WE DIE!

So people please….uBU4Him. Whatever that means. Even it means you sacrifice comfort-ability or conformity. If it means you sacrifice so-called friends or familiar fiends. Don’t grieve His heart being less, indifferent, afraid or completely the antithesis of YOU!

SO…Let’s walk this journey together shall we? I don’t have all the answers. I don’t always succeed in being myself. I’m not always the best version of me. Whether I’m planning my wedding (which I’m in the midst of doing now), going to work, interacting with friends, mentoring, being mentored, teaching, preaching or praying. The fact that this blog/website is even here is another step in being more myself.

So you’ll see it all. My wedding rants, my thoughts on current events, things God has been dealing with me about, my fears and prayerfully my triumphs! My true prayer is that this blog serves to make you “get out of the boat and walk on the water with Jesus.”

YES! Let’s become water-walkers together! Let’s LAUNCH out into the DEEP! Do what you will. JUST REMEMBER….

#UBU4HIM

Philippians 1:6 “…being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

~C